July 17, 2013

Wednesday's Thought - How Good are You at Asking?


How good are you at asking? And at receiving?

Do you believe: 

a) asking/receiving is just as natural as breathing, an essential part of life, opposite ends of a spectrum you visit each day. In fact, you don't even think about it, it's just something you do.

b) asking/receiving shows weakness and makes you vulnerable. You always manage and find a way on your own, whatever happens. Pride forbids you to ask, and besides, receiving makes you uncomfortable, indebted to whomever helped.

c) between a) and b). You will eventually ask if really necessary but prefer having control over things. By far you choose giving over asking, which you try to avoid whenever possible.

Tell me, where do you fit in?


What you were taught growing up and how you were raised have a lot to do with where you fit in. If you were part of a very supportive community and got to see people help each other, heard your parents ask neighbors for their help or witnessed people around you reach out and care for one another, it for sure shaped your behaviors and values as you became an adult. Asking and receiving was part of your reality. 

But maybe you grew up in a more isolated area and your family had limited resources. Maybe asking for something was not a thing to do. Maybe receiving even felt strange.


Either way, while your environment partially shaped

your ability to ask and your propensity to receive, it is your 

belief in your worthiness that determines what manifests in your life.



If you ask, not believing you are worthy, you will not receive.


I was a very good example of a "b)" person. A generous being, who liked to see happy and pleased people around her. I was spoiled when a little girl, yet taught not so much in words but through examples that I should take pride in being self sufficient and that I should never count on anybody nor trust anyone but myself. I had to be strong and independent. Asking was clearly a sign of weakness. Asking somehow meant admitting to failure.

As I grew older, I realized the only person I had failed when trying to absolutely make it on my own and be what everybody expected of me was... myself. I had failed myself in not respecting and denying my most basic need: TO CONNECT. Connecting with my deepest longings, my wildest dreams and my inmost needs. Connecting with friends and people around me, denying them access to my true, beautiful self. Not willing to receive, I had also denied them the joy that comes with giving.

Only when I recognized I was worthy could I allow myself to truly connect with others. It no longer was about asking and receiving: it had everything to do with believing.  

If you have trouble asking, receiving or manifesting, look inside your heart and examine how you feel about yourself. On a scale from 1 to 10, where would you say you're at on believing you are worthy? What are the beliefs associated with your rating? Did you inherit some of them from your parents or close ones when growing up? What would make you a "10"?

If a belief doesn't serve you anymore, thank it for helping you in the past, and let it go. 

We are all connected. Amanda Palmer says: "When we really see each other, we want to help each other." Receiving is simply asking going full circle. Believing is what makes it work and it is a beautiful thing.


You are worthy. Take care,

Patricia



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